Life is (still) good
Mr Kumar's story reminds us there is always something to be thankful for.
by: Alvin Tan & Bryan Tan
Mr Kumar was standing around the door, watching the volunteers give his flat a fresh coat of paint when we approached him to head downstairs and grab a picture at the photo booth.
He was reluctant to go down at first as he felt that he is not photogenic, and it has been a while since he has taken a picture. Hearing that, we encouraged him even more to have a go at the photo booth, and affirmed him that he looked great, and a picture would also brighten up his ‘refreshed’ flat.
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As we were having a chat over some drinks at the RC, he remarked: “you are handsome only when you are happy”. Even though the weather was warm and humid, he was wearing a blue long-sleeved button down and was reluctant to roll up his sleeves as he has a lump on his left arm from multiple dialysis treatments and did not wish to scare people or have to answer too many questions about it.
Mr Kumar having his first picture taken in years at the Photobooth
Mr Kumar shared his life and struggles with us as we continued the conversation. After discovering that he was diabetic about 6 years ago in 2012, he questioned God about why it happened when his family had no prior history of diabetes, of why he had to be the only one to be struck with the illness. He recounted how he became despondent in the early stages, but is thankful that through it all, his family stuck by him and kept encouraging him.
He came to accept the situation and learnt to be thankful to God, that it could have been much worse – he could have gotten his legs amputated, become too weak to move around – but there he was, still able to continue with his daily activities, get a job as a relief security officer, and only needing to be on dialysis 3 times a week.
It was still a roller coaster journey for him when an opportunity for a kidney transplant from his brother came. All was going well and he had his hopes high for a chance at living a normal life again, but his brother developed a liver condition which caused him to be unable to donate his kidney. However, Mr Kumar told us that even after multiple disappointments in life, he still believes that God has a plan for him, and at the end of the day, God is still good.
Even after multiple disappointments in life, he still believes that God has a plan for him, and at the end of the day, God is still good
Moving on from his journey with diabetes, we began talking about his children. He has 2 sons, one doing a diploma in nursing, and the other pursuing a diploma in the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts (NAFA). He said that though his elder son is in a relationship and is getting old, he will not rush them into marriage as relationships take time, and being happy together is all that matters.
Even though he is divorced and does not earn much, Mr Kumar still does his best to bless his sons whenever he can. He sends them money when he can, take them out for movies and meals, and tries to meet with them fortnightly. He believes that him being divorced is an issue between his wife and him, that they did not work out because of various reasons, and that the children do not have to suffer because of their inability to live together.
Bryan: Upon hearing this, I was greatly encouraged and blessed by the love of a father – that though he does not have much, he still sacrifices and blesses his children when he can, that he is constantly thinking of them and praying for them even when they are apart.
Bryan, Mr Kumar and Alvin capture this moment of friendship at Project Refresh
Reminiscing, Mr Kumar told us of his childhood days, days where he lived in the Kampong at Jurong East. Back then, he played with spiders, and used catapults to play a marble game. He also recounted how during those times, gangs were rampant and people had to join gangs to have ‘protection’. With a snigger, he said that he was lucky to be a part of the strongest gang back in secondary school.
On a normal day, Mr Kumar likes to watch the news to catch up with current affairs and politics. He takes walks as a form of exercise, and quit smoking and alcohol after 42 years to lead a healthier lifestyle. He works only day shifts as he feels that working night shifts will tempt him to smoke. He has neighborhood friends that drink very often, but he doesn’t join them for their drinking sessions. As a relief security officer, he tries to sleep by 10.30pm every night to get ready for work at 8am the next day, as the job might require him to report at locations far away from his home.
Overall, Mr Kumar keeps a positive outlook and will try to smile and interact with his neighbours when he meets them in the lifts or corridors, although they can be quite reserved at times. He enjoys interaction with people, and is thankful for the students that come to NKF to spend time with the dialysis patients.
This article was written and compiled by our volunteer interviewers, Alvin and Bryan. As they spoke to Mr Kumar, they were encouraged by his resilient spirit and positivity. As Caretalyst, we believe that there is much more to learn from our beneficiaries' viewpoints, and will continue to discover and share these stories.