Love is louder than words
Mdm Tan's affection is in the little details.
by: Tan Yu Jia
Behind a small glass casing, Mdm Tan Chwee Tin keeps an assortment of mementos. In it lie small teddy bears, antique pink-and-green vanity cases, sitting amongst slips of papers and faded, undated Polaroids. It's stashed haphazardly, in no particular order. But as Mdm Tan sits protectively beside it, it seems like great treasure.
She slides the door of the glass casing open and shows me a photograph. Moments later, the quiet lady takes out three more photo albums the size of her palm. I watch as she flips through the thin, plastic-covered sepia photos - and her occasional smile at some of them.
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A team begins to shift her furniture aside and put up drop sheets around her living room. Mdm Tan, 80, is one of the beneficiaries of Young NTUC's Project Refresh, where volunteers - including NTU Caretalyst - give one-room flats a 'facelift'.
As the team dips their brushes into paint, Mdm Tan tells me about her childhood.
Mdm Tan flips through her treasure trove of photographs.
The memento cabinet, with Project Refresh volunteers in the background.
Her early days were spent at a close-knit kampong. The young Mdm Tan did not enrol in formal education because her family could not afford it.​
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But the Kampong brought her a blessing: a neighbour whom she had grown up with soon became her husband. They tied the knot when she was 20. Together, they had six children, in an interesting alternate order: son, daughter, son, daughter, son, daughter.
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Her husband appears frequently in the photo albums. In one, he stands by a Ford-esque car, while Mdm Tan sits in the back seat, her head peeking out in a shy smile.
In another, the pair sits at a dinner table with her husband's arm around her shoulder. Their wrinkles are already showing, but their smiles are bright and wide.
In her bedroom, a framed photo of them hangs atop her single bed. She has been living alone in the flat ever since her husband passed away.
A bare-walled room with a special photo.
Mdm Tan continues to flip through her photo album slowly. In one of them, a young Mdm Tan stands poised for the camera. Her hands fold gently in front of her black-and-white floral cheongsam.
But those hands were probably lined and roughened from years of work. To raise her children, Mdm Tan worked as a laundress. She went from house to house and washed different households' laundry for $1.50 per person.
The work was physically demanding, and she was often exhausted.
"Sometimes people would lump their friends' and relatives' clothes to wash together, and I'd have to wash a lot," she says in broken Mandarin. She speaks more in Teochew, and sometimes lapses into the dialect to express herself better.
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The years of effort paid off - her children are all grown up now. One of them is a teacher, another a biscuit packer, and some of them work in computing too, she says proudly.
She used to stay with one of her sons, but after a disagreement, she decided to move to her current flat. The one-room apartment at Hougang has been her home for almost 20 years since.
She didn't want a big flat. "If you have a big flat, but live in it alone, it's also no use..." Mdm Tan says.
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But the children have always been in touch with her: as we speak, she announces that she's going out later with them for a family phototaking session for her grandchild's graduation.
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Her sons and daughter give her pocket money every month, so Mdm Tan doesn't have to work. Instead, her days are quite carefree: watching Korean drama, going down for a walk, and doing occasional housework. She is good friends with her neighbour, who pops by during the facelift to say hi.
"If you have a big flat, but live in it alone, it's also no use..."
Mdm Tan enjoys her lunch, provided by Young NTUC.
Mdm Tan's love is shown in the little details. While the Project Refresh team paints her apartment, she keeps a watchful eye from the kitchen - not on the furniture, but on the volunteers.
"Have they eaten yet? Tell them to eat their lunch," she says repeatedly during our conversation. Whenever a volunteer walks past her, she offers them drinks from her fridge.
She doesn't have a phone alarm alerting her about the time, but at 2pm she gets up from her chair and hurries into her room.
Moments later, she comes out dressed in a dressier blouse and carries a handbag under her arm.
"I'm going to meet my daughter now," she announces, her face brimming with expectation. She bustles out of the house, right on time to meet her family for the photoshoot.
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The team waves goodbye, and continue with their painting work. The cabinet of mementos and photos lie protected by the glass panel she's carefully closed before she left. We've upgraded her house, but the memories and love Mdm Tan has around her makes it her home.