Newlyweds and in love... at 60
Mdm Latifah dedicates her time — and life — to taking care of her one true love
by: Ashley Lee and Victoria Leong
They are a loving couple in their 60s sharing a rental flat together. But they are also newlyweds.
Mdm Latifah and her husband, both in their silver years, met two years ago while she was visiting a friend in hospital. Long conversations blossomed into love, and despite her husband's physical disability, Mdm Latifah committed to being with him and taking care of him for life. They married just last year.
Mdm Latifah was one of the tenants of the Kaki Bukit rental flats NTU Caretalyst served during Project Refresh in July. As we spoke to her, she revealed more interesting stories about herself and shared her woes about her family.
The loving couple, who have chosen to stick together and take care of each other for life
Her husband, who declined to be named, has been bedridden from a young age. The avid motorcyclist met with an accident years ago that made him lose his ability to control his legs.
Both husband and wife are currently unemployed.
She used to work part time at McDonalds prior to marrying her husband, but she quit her job to take care of him.
"It's hard for me to find a job now," said Mdm Latifah.
Now, she spends her time as a full time caretaker. She frequently cooks at home for him - his favourite dish is yam goreng, or fried chicken - and sometimes brings him out to Bedok Central to eat. She brings him on evening walks as well.
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Behind this tenacious woman lies a long history of love and dedication. Mdm Latifah has raised four children - a daughter and three sons. All her children are working now and live in another rental flat. Her 29-year-old daughter holds a part time job while her elder son is a security guard at Changi Airport.
She still worries about his health. "It's a stable job but there's long hours of work," she said.
Her second son works part time at a petrol kiosk car wash, and had previously served as a firefighter in his National Service. Her youngest son is only 20, and is a 2nd rank corporal in the Army. She has attended all her sons' National Service graduation parades, and her face beams with pride as she mentions it.
The other children visit once in a while to have meals together with her. Although the family does not meet often, she still makes an effort to celebrate their birthdays with them, she says.
"I saw other people celebrate Raya with their families... but I could not."
Special occasions hold a special place in Mdm Latifah's heart - and one of them brings back rather sombre memories. Her younger brother, the eighth of nine children, and her stepfather, passed away during Hari Raya last year. They were two of the closest people to her. The double loss was a huge blow to her.
"It was the most difficult time of my life," said Mdm Latifah. "I saw other people spending Raya with their families, but I could not."
It is a tradition to not celebrate Raya within one year of a family member's death. Even though they have not celebrated the occasion this year, she still takes the effort to decorate the house simply because her husband likes it.
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Her one-room rental flat is sparse. There is a small kitchen and toilet at the back of her apartment. A section is partitioned at the right for her husband's bed, covered quietly with a curtain hung from the ceiling. On the left side of the house, the only space available is occupied by a tentage and a mattress within it. The tentage seems an unusual sight in a house, but Mdm Latifah explains that it is for her son, who occasionally comes back to stay over.
In Project Refresh, volunteers and sponsors donated a new mattress and bedframe for the house. The tentage is now replaced by a clean, sturdy single bed. Besides the addition, volunteers also helped Mdm Latifah clean her house, making it spick and span.
Mdm Latifah's face brightens up as she sees the "Refreshed" house. The joy on her face is apparent. She thanks us for helping her - and we are more than happy to have met her, too.